She said I was the brightest little firefly

Columbine: The Game!

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 14:26:27 GMT

I found what may be the biggest black eye to the game industry, and I’m STILL having a hard time realizing that it actually exists, and this is not a sick, perverted joke.

Super Columbine Massacre RPG!

Now, I haven’t had a chance to play this game yet, and I seriously doubt I ever do. But I have one question for the genius who thought this was a good idea:

Really?

Come on. Really?

I can only guess at what the conversation was like in the first developing meeting:

A) Let’s make a game where we gun down kids in a school.

B) Brilliant.

A) Oh, and set fires too, right?

B) Right.

A) And quote Shakespeare and ramble on about inane religious references while we kill school teachers.

B) Of course. We want to be authentic.

A) Yeah.

B) You know the best part of this?

A) No, what?

B) While Columbine got people thinking about the violence in video games, this game will get people thinking about the tragedy at Columbine.

A) Totally, plus I bet we get laid for being such social revolutionaries.

B) Duh.

A) ‘K, just wanted to make sure we are on the same page.

B) Dude, isn’t it time for dungeons and dragons?

A) Oh yeah, I forgot! I think it’s Jim and Dave’s turn to dress up like hot chicks tonight, right?

B) I love hot chick night. Someday, we can get some real girls to come play.

Now, I swear on every major deity, if anyone uses this post as a chance to say something that sounds even REMOTELY close to agreeing that games cause violence in children, I will gun you down like a third grader.

Seriously, read the testimonials at the bottom of the page.

Guitar Hero II, and the war on drugs (and you thought that I'd say terrorism)

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 15:57:25 GMT

I don't time for a lengthy discussion of meaningless crap like usually, but I did want to say that Guitar Hero 2 is the reason that I'm going to completey and utterly embarress myself when I go to take my test today. That game is so addictive, I've almost completely given up sleep, school work, a social life, and anything else that I use to think was important before playing this game.

In other news, I've almost completed my child's journal. I'll link y'all up to it when there's a decent reason to (like when I've posted in it.).

Thoughts and ramblings on my impending fatherhood

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 16:24:17 GMT

Oh yeah, before we start I guess I should mention the fact that my fiancé and I are expecting our first little monster on September 20^th, 2007. However, if he/she is anything like their old man, they will arrive a bit early.

I actually wrote an entry about this previously, but Live Journal ate it when I tried to open up a poll so that we could all collectively vote on baby names. You know, good names like (for those of you who have seen Children of Men) Froley or Bazooka.

I, for one, am quite partial to the name Septim Vegas Buck. Erika is not.

Moving on, I would like to discuss the blatantly fraudulent phrase that is as follows:

“Morning Sickness”

Because unless the meaning is meant metaphorically (as in pregnancy is a nine month “day” in which you are sick for the first few months), this is a fallacy, whole and complete. Erika has been sick from sun-up to sun-down, and in compliance with all of the natural laws that decree pregnant couples must suffer bizarre and senseless crap, she can only eat any given food item one time before she no longer can stand the remote mention of it again.

We are only on week seven, my friends, and I’m already running out of ideas.

I REFUSE TO STARVE TO DEATH FOR SAKE OF MY POSTERITY.

Plus, her nasal capacities are running on full-out over time, which means my patented method of “no shower just more cologne” is NOT flying anymore. Cologne is too strong of a scent for her.

Great.

Anyways, that’s about all I feel like typing about for now.

Has anyone seen Smokin’ Aces yet?

I think my sarcasm is misunderstood.

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 16:56:58 GMT

As of this morning, it has been exactly one week since I last showered.

Not that I really care...I saw Erika last Friday/Saturday, but she left Sunday in the morning when it was snowing and I was up on the North end of town tickling some Ivories for a paycheck. Then, I was at the Colts' game that night, so I didn't see her again till last night.

I'm not really proud of that fact either ( the lack of showering), but I can't say that it really bothers me. I'm sure it bothers other people, but if you're not my fiance, or even my dog (who still had no problem licking me) then I don't really care about your opinion.   (On anything.)

*at this point, I title this entry*

I have changed clothing occassionally, but for the most part it's just to cold to justify being all that naked. So combine my natural smell, the fact that some of my clothing has been on my for a few days, and I haven't shaved in...six days, and you can see why people are beginning to wonder if I have a home. For those who are observent, they would notice one distince difference between me and a street person...they usually wear some sort of coat. Granted, it's usually ratty and torn and dirty, but they have some sort of coat on. That's because they have to LIVE OUTSIDE.

I don't wear a coat, even though the cold has been ruining my life.   I haven't been doing a lot of things that people usually do, because I just happen to have a lot on my mind at the moment (More on that within the next 48 hours).

But I should probably shower. And the neat thing is, since I am engaged and have absolutely no desire to hook up with any random girl, I can totally post this without fear of negative cotial reprocussions. (one of) the best thing(s) about having someone you care about is that you no longer have to put up the facade of good higiene or caring about someone else's feelings/opinions/whatever. Until, of course, that person learns you have an online journal, and begins to read it without telling you...which hasn't happened yet, hence the lack of water and soap.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA plus she totally gave me a petticure(spelling?) last night.

That being said, if I do entertain/value your opinion, it's because I honest to God like you as a human being, in which case all the stuff I've said about not caring kinda goes out the window. But you're all still on pretty thin ice.

*at this point, I erase the title, and then re-enter it word for word*

Rape Day (bring a friend!)

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 03:17:22 GMT

I, for one, am sick of the word "rape".

why? Because my day has been absolutely chock-ful, up to the brim and spilling over with rape.

Well...that and pillaging and plundering.

Seriously, all I've heard about all day long is rape. In victimology, we talked about all different kinds of rape, including but not limited to:

Date Rape

Marital Rape

Forcible Rape

Battery Rape

Homosexual Rape

Sadistical Rape

Men who rape to make themselves feel manly.

Women who rape men to prove they have control.

and on and on.

THEN! (my day gets really exciting here) Then, dear friends and loved ones, I spent time preparing my legal case brief for my Criminal Law class. Guess which case I got?

If you guessed the case that involves the aggrevated rape of a five year old, you'd be almost right.   It was a case in which to cases got condensed into one, because they were appealed for the exact same reason. Time for a little "throw the rapists in a pot together and deliver justice in the form of stew." Then for the second case, and that's the one that made me stop eating for the rest of the day. Because lumped in with the first guy, is another guy who raped THREE girls, all under the age of ten. One of them was his daughter.

And if you're the kind of person who is jaded to all of the above facts, let me throw this this curve ball...they guy who raped his daughter and two others KNEW HE HAD AIDS.

THAT was a fun case to present. Everybody loves the guy who comes in and talks about aids-incest-rape.

The only silver lining to my day was the fact that both of those rapists were given the death penalty, so at least they aren't still alive.

a little side note, expect an announcement from me on something big in the next...five days.

Holy lj update, Batman...

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 17:14:46 GMT

I just finished watching today's People's Court , and I have a little thought about the legal world.

Because, as I'm sure you all know, when you watch any court tv show during the day, you get bombarded with the INJURY!lawyer adds.

call us, right now.

one eight hundred I live for litigation

screwtheguy.com

whatever. Point is, as I'm watching these adds, I'm constantly reminded of something but I couldn't put my finger on what it was...until now.

You're probably asking yourself what type of hairgel Robin uses. Beyond that, you're probably wondering why I think cheezeball lawyer adds remind me of Batman's glory days past.

Remember when our daring duo would "hit" a badguy and the sound effects were actually written on screen??

Bam?

Biff?

Powie?

Wack/thwack/crack/smack?

These commercials pretty much have the same crap flying up in the empty left hand corner of the screen

Free consultation!

Major Injury litigation!

You can't afford not to hire us! TODAY! NNNOOOWWW!

...Oh Adam West, please come and give these lawyers a taste of justice a la batman.

Kasmack.

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 15:19:48 GMT

There are things I'll remember
And things I'll forget...

so that's that.

Pops called me up this morning. He ran out of gas not to far from here, and wanted to know if I would grab one of the gas cans, fill it up, and bring it out to him. So I grabbed the can and hit the road. When I went to fill it up with gasoline, I realized that my leg was getting wet. So I look down, and through my SUPER!powers of observation that the gas can has a hole in it. So I go rummaging around in the van ( I was driving my mom's mini van) and found a big plastic bin. I throw the gas in there, and race off to find dad before the slow leak lets all the gas out.

I drive around and around the area he said he was in, and couldn't find him. I did however catch a really good gas buzz. So, finally I stop at a hair salon and ask to use their phone...turns out that dad made it home after all. So that was just a fun little morning exercize.

I need to change my jeans, they still have gas all over them, as do my new black shoes :(

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 20:07:41 GMT

I finally got fed up with scrolling through random posts about random communities I care absolutely nothing about, so I deleted most, if not all, of them. Also, this is a post in which I inform you that I have not perished or had to relocate due to complications with the mob.   I am in fact alive.

I'm also still in school, and having the best semester of my life. I'm sure I'll get around to updating about classes and such at a later time, but seeing as I smell dog crap, I think that in a few moments I shall need to turn my attention to the four dogs I'm currently ignoring. Two of them belong to my fiance's mom (Jeri), one belongs to my fiance herself (Erika), and one belongs to ME MEM ME MEMEMEMEMEMEME!

I promised pictures of her, I'll have to get them to y'all soon...along with the class info. *sniff sniff*

But while I'm updating, I do want to mention that I finally got a chance to watch Sin City, and I didn't realize just what I had been missing out on. That movie was great! I remember after it came out, there were rumors(?) that it was the first installment in a line of four total movies? I hope that's right, because if they do the sequals (or at least one of them) as well as that movie, I would be rather happy...and rub it in the face of the third X-Men movie :)

Oh my god, it stinks.  I've gotta go.

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 15:08:37 GMT

Tonight!

During the Monday Night Football Game, The first commercial for Halo 3 will air.

I could hardly sleep last night.

and it had nothing to do with the commercial

my new pup.

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 14:13:58 GMT

A few notes about Delia: the Australian Cattle Dog (from hell).

I knew from the moment that she and I exchanged a stare that she was in incredibly smart dog.

What I did not know at that time, but fully understand now, is that she’s a lot smarter than me.

Every day she develops new tricks to play on me. The first night we had her, she acted as though she came completely house broken. After 48 hours, I would like to assure you, dear reader, that she is NOT.

This morning, in true Cattle Dog fashion, she began biting the leg of anything that moves.( I honestly think it’s funny, but Erika mentioned that lawsuits would probably be in my future if this behavior is not corrected.)

At this current rate of degeneration, and given the fact that I am prone to encourage bad behavior, she will probably kill her first human and bury them by Christmas.

Sweet

She and I differ in a few slight, but significant, ways.

First, I require roughly seven hours of sleep in order to have a high energy level the next day. Delia requires exactly one hour and forty-three minutes of rest for a much higher energy level.

Second, When I use the bathroom, I get it all out. She likes to release a little at a time, so that when you let her in the house she can finish. That’s such a charming little trick.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

We are also similar in a few ways as well.

We both revel in degenerate behavior.

We both have some of the worst gas EVER.

Both of our lives are comprised of sleeping, eating, games, and making messes for someone else to clean up. (because if the mess is left there, we both like to eventually roll in it).

Last night, I took her to Petsmart because she needed some essential things, like food and stuff, when I noticed that there were two people in Petsmart that were dressed up as cows, taking doggie Halloween pictures. In my mind, I wished that Delia was about two or three years old already, so she could chase those people and bite their legs in an attempt to make them endlessly run for the rest of their lives.

I think someone should work with ME on behavior modification, not my dog.

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 11:25:48 GMT

I SO TOTALLY just bought an australian cattle dog. Her name is Delia. Pics to follow in the next...week?

Roger Waters

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 23:52:01 GMT

Saturday night, me and my entourage went to the Roger Waters show.

First off, it was exactly like Pink Floyd was there in their entirety. The sound was extremely good, and Deer Creek (Verizon wireless) isn’t exactly on my top five all time greatest venues for sound. There was even the flying pig in its entirety.

Also, there was so much weed floating around, it was like there were smoke machines. Only they were illegal, and made of human lungs. It was great.

Erika kept trying to wander off and find other people from our group. In a crowd of almost sold out capacity…finding that girl in the crowd would have been impossible. But, if you’ve ever tried to tell a woman what to do, you realize that all you can do is tag along and memorize landmarks.

toil and soil and oil and boil

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 23:37:51 GMT

all rhyme.

So! after minutes and minutes of semi-hard labor while doing other things, like RP, I now have this INSANELY COOL (or barely mediocre) new Journal layout.

that is all.

Why dogs should be the main ingrediant in HOT DOGS

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 14:28:15 GMT

Yesterday, I didn’t go to work because I was sick to my stomach with some sort of gastrointestinal-nonSTDrelated(thistime) virus. So I’m thinking that if I can get past the pain, which I did, I could have a day spent playing on the internet and the 360.

Oh no.

My delicious girlfriend calls me at about noon. You see, dear friends, it’s not enough that she has one beagle that continues to be my worldly arch-nemesis. She has now got into that pretty little brain of hers that we need to DOUBLE the number of beagles, regardless of what her lease or COMMON SENSE dictates.

I’m all for nobles causes, mind you. Great American causes like giving to the needy on Christmas. Her wacko sense of morality has now convinced her that it’s a good thing to rescue nasty dogs from the pound.

After seeing a picture of this dog, I pretty much wrote him off as a soon-to-be house for the needle. Nitey-nite. The last thing I need in this world is something else that wants me to pay attention to it. I said that she should just get another boyfriend, and between the two of us she could have all kinds of messes to clean up. Plus, I bet he plays videogames at a competitive level.

No, she invites the current woman (who is completely insane, I might add) over to the house to see if our current four-legged flea hotel likes this one.

I locked up the expensive alcohol, just in case this woman tried to steal it.

This other woman brings over the dog in question, and proceeds to ‘splain that he never marks territory, or fights with her dogs, or anything like that.

With in ten minutes, that dog had done ever bad thing imaginable, including marking on Cooper’s current cage, and then biting at him later on. It was so great, I almost broke out that good alcohol I had just locked up.

After the dog and owner left, Erika was all upset and cried a lot. She tried to justify the dog’s behavior. When that OBVIOUSLY didn’t fly, she then proceeded to say this sentence:

“You’re not the boss of me. You’re NOT.” The funny part is, she said it like it was a question. Then she burst into tears again!

I will never understand girls. EVER.

Oh, and I had a really really good steak last night.

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 15:43:51 GMT

I feel as though the time in my life has come where I am once again after the Questing Beast (which is a reference to The Once and Future King, so you should read it if you do not understand what I mean. Or if you just want to read a really really good book.)

Every year, when the time comes for little Jonny to go back to school, I can’t help but think about what I wish I was doing. Rarely, of course, does it actually involve school, but I think I was born about a hundred years too late.

I would thrive in a situation where I could ride a horse over the western part of the state, driving cattle and sleeping under the stars. Walden, another good book, makes me sick for the trees every time I read it.

I might elaborate more when I have more time.

This is a short update

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 11:31:00 GMT

Yesterday, on my way home from work, I witnessed a moped rider get creamed by a city bus. I honestly thought he just exploded, it was gruesome. The guy riding in the truck with me FREAKED OUT.

I kinda feel wierd inside now. :(

XD

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 11:40:21 GMT

I'm an addict for dramatics
I confuse the two with love

to pee, or not to pee

Mon, 08 May 2006 23:55:56 GMT

You have to understand this fact about me if you are to appreciate the story I’m about to tell you all, dear online friends:

When I come home from work, I’m exhausted if the day’s activities have been extremely rigorous, as was today.

That being said, I should not be held responsible for my actions. Take my shower, for example.

So, I walk into the bathroom smelling of gasoline and alcohol. (See, thing about me and my dad is that when we’ve worked all day, we smell like alcohol. I don’t know why.) I reach into the shower, fully dressed, and flip on the water. When the sound of the H2O hitting the shower floor reached my ears, my bladder FLIPS OUT. I almost soiled my pants with urine. I strip as fast as I can, jump in the (cold) water, and proceed to relieve myself in one of my three favorite places.

1) In the SNOW!
2) Shower
3) Outside! (no really, I’ve pissed at a MINIMUM of a 1/3 of the jobs I’ve ever worked on. In the city, in the country, downtown, wherever. I piss outside.)

So, I’m taking this really great pee. I mean, it was a thing of beauty. I brace myself with one arm against the shower wall, use the other to keep the cold water from hitting me as much as possible. Even with all that, it was a classic. It called for a Cuban cigar.

That’s when everything got bad.

As I look down, I realize that the soap is in the drain. In other words, I’m urinating on the only soap in the shower. (cuz I don’t use those stupid lufas or whatever they’re called.)

So, dilemma here. Do I proceed to wash with the pee’d on soap, or do I just not use any soap?

Of course, I used the soap.

Tue, 02 May 2006 00:38:43 GMT

On a quick note, I found this band and I really really like them...I didn't know a girl that small could scream like that...

or did I!?

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 14:55:15 GMT

Ok, so two really quick little notes

One, I've changed the layout for my LJ, and love it more than ever. (Crow themed) Updates are to actually start coming regularly after the end of this week...try not to be so excited you can't sleep

Second, I am saving up my money for this dog. Blue, on the right, in front.

recent assignment

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 16:29:50 GMT

Reflections for Stress Management
Jonathan Buck
4/14/04

Stress management through breathing techniques and muscle contractions are not new to me. I have heard of them before, and always had a somewhat skeptical opinion of them. After trying them out at our first meeting, I am now completely sure that they don’t work for me in any shape or fashion.

I’m not saying that they don’t work at all; I’m sure that for some people they reduce stress and anxiety, and help them disappear into the happy place in the back of their minds where all their troubles dissipate into nothingness, and when they finally come back they feel renewed and refreshed, as if they have just used Herbal Essence shampoo. That isn’t the case for me.

I hope I’m not being too close-minded, but the idea of slowing my breathing and clenching my ass cheeks and focusing on the release process doesn’t do anything but make me feel as though I can’t breathe unless I focus on bringing in oxygen and releasing carbon dioxide. As a matter of fact, it stresses me out.

I handle stress by eliminating whatever it is that has me stressed, if at all possible. If I have a mountain of papers and exercises, I sit down and do them, even for hours at a time, until they are done. If I can’t get done everything I have to, I don’t. Between propriety management, common sense, and a good work ethic, most work-related stresses can be avoided right from the beginning. If the case is that stress can not be eliminated in this fashion, I find a way. Assignments, projects, large workloads, these sorts of things do not stress me out. I feel as though I handle stress very well.

It's better in bed!

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 14:41:46 GMT

With the New Year's just passing, everyone is making resolutions. Well, anxious to do my part in the annual craze, I've decided to think in more healthy terms.

So, I got to thinkin. What's the most healthy thing you can possibly do? What's the best way you can start your day off right, feeling energetic and happy!?!?!

Don't know? I bet your mom does!

It's BREAKFAST!!

The breakfast of Champions. Actually, it always seems like cereal is the breakfast of champions. But what else can you put in a bowl, cover in milk, and love as much as frosted little flakes of heaven?

After much research, i found the best (and worst) thing you can have in your bowl besides the conventional, boring old cereal.

the winner:

POPCORN! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!

The Loser:

SCORPIONS!! BOOOOOOOO!

New Professor

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 23:26:07 GMT

I would like to take a few moments to repeat some of the most memorable lines from my CJ 250 class. He's a chinese man with a strong accent.

-------
Dr. Ho "What do you want to do after you graduate?"

Jonathan "A Landscaper"

Dr. Ho. "In Prison?"

Jonathan "No."

Dr. Ho. "Just don't tell me to go to hell."

-----

Dr. Ho. "I hate when people come to my class drunk. If you come to class drunk, I'll testify against you, then tell you to go to hell."
-----

Dr. Ho. "You will remember my class. This guy, he write me email. Say "Dr. Ho, I remember your final questions. Go to hell."
-----

Dr. Ho to girl siting in front row. "Did you get drunk over break?"

Girl "No."

Dr. Ho. " I hate liars. did you get drunk?"

Girl "No."

Dr. Ho. "bullshit. Go to hell."
------------------

He actually made a kid write a note promising to try hard, because he looked like a loser.

I'VE NEVER LAUGHED SOOOOO HARD EVER!!!

Dr. Ho. "I've got only sixteen weeks teach you. Spring break one those weeks. Some of you go to mexico, some to California...some of you go to Key West, cuz it right near Hell."

The holiday loot.

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 17:30:46 GMT

Now that my computer is back up and running again, I thought I would do two things.

first, I would like to extend holiday greetings and all that crap. So there.

Now that all of that is over, let's get to the fun part.

Prince of Persia Three. By large the best of the series yet, in my opinion. A lot of really great surprises, and return of chars from the past two games. I've already played it an almost unrealistic amount. Playing this one makes me want to go back and play through all of the games again.

My favorite TV show in DVD form. Erika and I are currently watching it when ever I am in lafayette, and so far we have viewed the first six episodes. I have a gift card for Best Buy that I am going to use to get the second season...or an MP3 player...or more video gamely things...

Because I needed yet MORE Johnny Cash cds...

I'm currently waiting for my Dragon Quest VIII game to come in, but I certainly have enough to keep me busy.

Last night, I skidded over to Geoff's for about four hours, and we played Madden 06 for the Xbox. I'm not a huge football game fan, but it's fun if you have a few people playing it. His brother played as well. Goeff summed up my feelings on it when he said "If I owned it, I'd never play it."

P.S.

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 15:59:55 GMT

I know if you're reading this, you're thinking "P.S.?!?! As in post script? But you haven't written anything yet."

Scroll down on your friends list or on my page, I just posted a few minutes ago.

Anyways, with the money I got from pulling my xbox 360 reservation (*tears up*), I got this game:

And it is quickly one of my favorites...think Prince of Persia meets Legend of Zelda, only up the beauty of the gameplay by a margin of 125.76% It is a game for all horse lovers, or giant slayers. Like this guy:

That is, of corse, Big Sexy-The Giant Killer Kevin Nash. You might recognize him from this getup in his feature role in the Punisher: